Prepared. Lawyered-Up. We’re Ready to Fight…But Not Settle
“No One Wins a War…” & “Litigation is War…”
As I closed the door. Exhaled and turned to take my seat at the head of the sixteen person table. I again noticed the impressive tech-heavy modern conference room. As I looked at the adverse parties and observed the mountains of papers, binders, notes, pens, highlighters and personnel on both sides. I surmised, “Wow, both sides came prepared to ‘war’”.
My opening statement was short, concise, and I focused on being open to exploring the value of a diversity of perspectives and ideas. LMAO! Once I saw the Plaintiff’s attorney’s smirk and give a “low key” grin I paused, broke protocol, stood up and said to that attorney, “Why are you hear today?” They were silent and appeared caught off guard. Then I turned to the other attorney, “Did you come here to WIN, or negotiate?” Again, another facial surprised expression…” I continued. “We are here to negotiate. We are here to hear and explore opportunities of resolution that may not be what we saw possible. Mediation is not an opportunity to impress upon the mediator how sound your case is or how flawed is the opposing side is, or how “Stare decisis law” compels your legal position… Although you may feel the merits of your case is just. It is the ambiguity that has not allowed you to prevail yet… So! Here, we are. What do you want? And how much are you willing to mutually agree to so you can fight the next fight, move past this issue so you can engage in more pressing ones?”
The room was silent, but the faces were easily understood. This mediation was not going to be like others. And mediation never has to be a continuation of what they see/feel/do/exercise/experience in court. Mediation is an opportunity to learn, grow, explore solutions and go beyond what the strategic moves litigation offers. Litigation is WAR, MEDIATION is the FIRST AND ONLY TIME WHERE SELF-DETERMINATON CAN BE ACHIEVED!
So, as you engage and prepare with your legal team and/or legal counsel, ask yourself, “At the end of the day what do I want to achieve?” If you want to destroy your adversary; embarrass your former spouse; business partner, relative, friend or employer… mediation may not be what you need/expect. I have seen the harshest/ugliest of relationships find solace, healing, empathy, understanding and respect within the construct of a “well-facilitated” mediation process, by a full-time dedicated skilled neutral (not a part-timer). Do You Really Want War or Mutual Agreement?
Stanley Zamor is a Florida Supreme Court Certified Circuit/Family/County Mediator & Primary Trainer and Qualified. Mr. Zamor serves on several federal and state mediation/arbitration rosters and mediates with the Agree2Disagree (ATD) Mediation Group. As an ADR consultant he regularly lectures on a variety of topics from ethics, cross-cultural issues, diversity, bullying, and Family/Business relationships.
szamor@effectivemediationconsultants.com
www.effectivemediationconsultants.com
www.LinkedIn.com/in/stanleyzamoradr
(954) 261-8600
